Early yesterday morning I visited a local Sunday market. This is not a regular pursuit, ie two in one month, but a particular farmshop from deepest Sussex did not attend the former, but did the latter. Nine jams. conserves, marmalades and six bottles of Apple juice later and I was ready to depart. My attention was drawn to a stand where a chap in white artisan attire was talking with a female customer. The name above his wares proclaimed, 'The Gay Butcher'.
Which way was the word 'Gay' to be read or taken, I pondered. Is he gay in the 1930's manner? Is he a naturally happy Chappy or as queer as kippers? The analogy with kippers being queer has long fascinated me, I say 'long', it's probably about as long as I've been writing this piece, but it does make you think back to all the kippers you've met over breakfast throughout your life and yet none have revealed their sexuality or their sexual preferences. They just lay on the plate, tempting you into salivating mode with their freshly cooked, colourful hues awaiting consumption, prior to toast and marmalade and a second cup of tea. All this satisfaction before a brisk walk along the sea front hoping that your day will not be ruined by the sight of not-so-small boats decanting yet another overspill of migrants upon our shores - and all before ten in the morning!
I digress... Why, oh why, do these children of a far more selective god feel the need to tell you? Many women really like the idea of having homosexual male friends. They feel safe and gossip is on a par with that of their female 'besties'. Perhaps it's also a talking point with others within their chattering bubble, or possibly a status symbol? Surely not?
Perhaps if I had spent more time at the market I could possibly have spotted a sign proclaiming 'The Straight Butcher'? Would he - or she - be allowed to call themselves by that description? Would it not be considered provocative, possibly? Inflammatory, maybe? I don't understand the Transwhatever movement harping on about 'inclusion' when at one and the same time they also wish to stand out from the crowd, be seen to be different, whinging continually that they are not always welcomed as equals in society. Not surprising, I would have thought, when taking into consideration all the marches, the flags, the 'rainbow-painted' zebra crossings and only this week, a boatload of drag queens sailing gayly along the Seine as part of the Olympics opening ceremony - unbelievable...
Last month, whilst in B&Q, I happened to be casting my eye over their limited selection of roses with a view to purchasing a couple of specimens. What caught my eye was a sign stating that for every rose purchased, said company would donate £1 to LGBTransfarce (my word, not B&Q), or whatever clutch of letters they are living under at any one time. Why? Why would any company wish to donate money to a group of people whose sole agenda appears to be related to sexual orientation. Whilst I am sure some would call it an affliction, it is not cancer, or indeed any other medical condition, research for which is in constant need of funding. Is it pressure from certain political quarters on businesses throughout the country that encourage, nay, pressure them into promoting June as 'Pride' month? Again I ask - Why? How can a case be made for donations to this dubious cause when there are animal shelters crying out for support. B&Q and any other business with money to squander would do well to consider the customers and their views before donating to such a worthless cause. I journeyed on to Homebase in order to purchase my two roses - one yellow, one red, no pink!
Back to yesterday, I just couldn't see myself discussing the price of sausages with 'The Gay Butcher' - it wouldn't sit comfortably!
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